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From time to time, the Waterloo Region Family Network (WRFN) is asked to distribute information on behalf of third parties. WRFN provides general information to self-advocates and families of children with special needs. The information provided on this website is not a recommendation, referral or endorsement of any resource, therapeutic method, or service provider. WRFN is not responsible for any information or services provided by third parties. You are urged to use independent judgment when considering any resource.

 


 

Celebrate The Small Stuff

 By Cristina Stanger, Self-Advocacy Liaison, WRFN
*This article was originally published in the Family Pulse Newsletter November 2021*


Even before the pandemic, I’ve always found the future and unknowns very daunting. I can imagine a thousand different possibilities of how things can play out. I am prone to worry and catastrophizing. When it feels like everything could go wrong, or there is an imminent issue I need to address for myself or my children, or all the things I need to get done seem like too much to handle - it can be paralyzing. I’m working on keeping my worries in check.
 
One thing I am learning to do is to pause, and take a moment to identify something that went better than expected, or that has improved, or that I did well. In short: celebrate the small stuff. This is not yet a natural thought pattern for me, so I have to be quite intentional in my approach. Maybe I phoned a business and asked a question that I needed answered. Maybe I took the dog on a longer walk today. Maybe I reinforced a healthier new habit. Maybe it’s as simple as, I remembered to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. When I stop and congratulate myself, life feels a little more positive.
 
I am also experimenting with the concept of a “done list”; the opposite of a to-do list (which can feel never ending), a done list helps me reflect on my day, and notice the things I’ve achieved. This can be very grounding, bringing me back to the present moment without worrying about all the things that did not yet get done. A done list is, once again, an acknowledgement of the small stuff, which can add up in an uplifting way.
 
So please join me and take a moment to pause, and congratulate yourself on something you did today. Pat yourself on the back. Well done you. I’ve found these small, internal celebrations can go a long way to counteract the overwhelm and negativity I sometimes feel, and I hope, in some way, it might be helpful to you as well.

Leah Bowman at 11:09 AM
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Family Pulse-November 2021

Welcome to November! 

 

Inside the November issue of Family Pulse you will find information on:

SEAC Updates
Celebrate the Small Stuff
What's Happening at WRFN

Parent & Caregiver Survey
Steph's Corner
Community Information, Resources and Opportunities

 

You can read the online version of Family Pulse here or download a pdf copy.

Leah Bowman at 11:05 AM
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Same Storm, Different Boats

By Cristina Stanger, Self-Advocacy Liaison, WRFN
*This article was originally published in the Family Pulse Newsletter August 2021*

 

Along with pandemic catch-phrases like ‘pivot’ and ‘seven day rolling average’, we often hear the phrase “we are all in this together” - which I agree with, it is an important, community-minded sentiment. But I also felt that it never quite captured the whole picture. Yes, we are all navigating pandemic life, together, as a society, as a community, and many of these strange pandemic experiences are shared. But we navigate the pandemic as individuals as well, the lived experience of the pandemic, as a whole, will be quite different from person to person. Various factors will significantly impact our overall experience: introvert or extrovert; empty nesters, or family with young children; frontline worker, laid off, or working from home; living alone, living with others, or living in a congregate setting; family member with exceptional needs, or living with high risk health conditions. So many different aspects are at play, and throughout the pandemic you have had to make decisions about what you need, what you are comfortable with, and what makes the most sense for you and those you love, in the context of important public health guidelines.
 
This spring, I saw some messaging from the famed Ottawa Public Health social media outreach: “We may be in the same storm, but we are not all in the same boat. It’s okay not to be okay, help is available.” {Twitter, Mar 5, 2021} Same storm, different boats: for me, this finally encapsulated what I had been unable to explain before. Together, as a community, we weather this pandemic storm; each of us riding out the storm in our own unique boats. And, I find this especially helpful to remember as we edge our way back toward life as-it-once-was, because lately I find myself drawn toward comparison: So-and-so is doing this now, should I be doing that too? It is easy to get caught up in what others are doing, when we are unsure of what we want our own approach to be. But I am in my boat, and I have to make my own decisions about how to sail it.
 
So sail your boat as best you can, ask for help when needed, and we will see each other again on the other side of the storm.

Leah Bowman at 1:42 PM
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Family Pulse-August 2021

Welcome to August!

 

Inside this issue:

SEAC Updates
Same Storm, Different Boats
What's Happening at WRFN
Steph's Corner
Community Information, Resources and Opportunities

 

You can read the online version of Family Pulse here or download a pdf copy. 

Leah Bowman at 1:39 PM
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More often than not, I use "exceptional"

By Cristina Stanger, Self-Advocacy Liaison, WRFN
*This article was originally published in the Family Pulse Newsletter May 2021*


Semantics can be a tricky thing. Language is constantly evolving in all facets of society. But words also carry a lot of weight, and I try to be very deliberate in how I choose them.
 
Exceptional. Special needs. Disability. Disorder. Difference. There are so many options used in the space surrounding the individuals and families we support; it can be intimidating, and sometimes confusing, as we strive to respect the rights, needs and values of others as we speak.
 
It is also important that the words we use communicate our intended meaning. I once saw an “Abilities Office,” and while I appreciate the effort to highlight the positive, it was not particularly clear to me who that office was meant to serve, and that can be problematic too. So I thought I would share my take on the terminology of the day; when do I use what term, and why.
 
My neurology will always be different from the average person. Physiologically speaking, I am the exception to the rule. Thus, I am exceptional. For a lot of my day-to-day life, I don’t really think about this fact. It doesn’t come up, it’s not relevant, or I’m just busy being me and living life. This difference is there, underlying many aspects of my person and my experience, but it is not really an issue.
 
When I am in an environment or situation that conflicts with my exceptionality, then some accommodations are required. From my perspective, this is when I have a special need. I need accommodations to help me better operate in a world that wasn’t really designed with me in mind. By meeting this special need, I am able to participate, to be included, to feel valued.
 
If my special need in a given situation is not or cannot be met, that can feel debilitating. I am disabled because I am not able to participate in the activity, event, or the environment. It is at these times that I feel like I have a disability. And it’s okay to say that. Some people are afraid to use the word disability for fear of causing offense. Conversely, other people use the term disability very freely, not always considering the weight of the word. I fall somewhere in the middle. Perhaps, it’s easier for me to use the word disability in reference to my own self, rather than using it in the context of someone else, so that may be a consideration too.
 
Generally speaking, I don’t mind what words others use, as long as they are coming from a genuinely well-intentioned place. If there is a blatant misstep I try to politely educate on why a different choice of words might be preferred.
 
So in summary: I am always exceptional because I am “built” differently. I will have a special need when my exceptionality and environment are not inherently compatible. I feel disabled when this special need goes unmet, or simply cannot be accommodated.
 
It’s impossible to find one word that will make everyone happy and that will be universally understood or adopted. And I sometimes wonder, what language will we be using 20 years from now? But for right here, and right now, I choose “exceptional” more often than not.

Leah Bowman at 12:14 PM
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Name: Leah Bowman
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